Enabling Depression

Are you enabling your depressed friend?

Stop fucking enabling!  It’s pretty much the same as enabling an alcoholic; they’ve got to hit what they think is the bottom.  I”m not say that you should be mean here; being mean is never, ever better than kindness.  And sympathy will kill them dead.  I really hate the phrase ‘tough love’.  I think it can let people justify being mean and calling it love or kindness in some sick way.  So, be there for your friend who is depressed, listen, don’t enable and if you let them run from you and go to a Doctor or psychiatrist to get some mind numbing drugs, I’ll rip your face off.

I have a nephew who is an alcoholic.  I was his last chance.  His parents, especially his mother enabled him for years.  He just kept getting worse and worse. He came to live with me.  Third time he got drunk and didn’t show up for work, I took his stuff and left it on the porch of the buddy he went drinking with.  The buddy, whose couch he slept on that night came out screaming, ‘He can’t stay here!’ as I drove away.  After that, I helped him by driving to the food bank and some other basic things but never gave him any money.  It took some time but he now has been stabling working and living and taking care of a family for several years.  In his eyes, I can do no wrong.

I never told him he was bad, just the opposite – he is quite capable but alcohol is pretty deadly stuff.

Well, please, wake the fuck up.  Depression and anxiety are not much different. I know that the person with ‘Depression’ feels that they are not really understood, that no one ‘gets’ them.  Pretty much the same as the alcoholic or druggie.  So, what the fuck, you get depressed.  Everyone does.  People get angry.  People get bored.  People get sarcastic.  People get cheerful. All of these things are part of being human, dummy.  Next thing you know the fucking pharmaceutical industry and the psychiatrists will start calling normal a disease.  (Oh fuck, they did already – I’m not kidding.)  Get the point, these assholes are not in it for you. They want your money.  MONEY!!  It’s called the Pharmaceutical Industry for a reason.  It is an Industry.  So, reason for existence is to rake in the dineros.

So, if you tell your friend, “Oh, you poor thing, it is all so bad, boo hoo, you have been so hard done by…”  Fuck Off!! – you make my skin crawl!  That is not gong to help anyone.  You may think you are helping but that is not effective help.  You want to help, take them for a walk and get them to look at things and come out of their depression and not wallow in it, not talk about it.  Be kind but don’t let them wallow.  Give them some B vitamins.  Throw away the newspapers.  Get them to stop watching the news on the TV.  Get them to block all the fucking bullshit on Facebook!  Who needs that shit.  That is some effective help.  Drugs – that is not effective help.  That is just fucking stupid.

Drugs have so many freakin’ side effects and doctors prescribe them because they are paid to, not because they have any idea of benefits.  My father was a doctor for most of his life in a third world country.  For free.  Near the end he told me that because of Big Pharma, he didn’t know if he’d helped or harmed more people.  That is from a very conscientious doctor.

If you don’t know how to help your friend and can figure out how to contact me, I’ll try and help.  I’ll put some links on this site at some point to what I consider effective solutions.

Are You a Victim of Depression?

OK – stop being a victim!  When I say this, you may think I mean don’t let people push you around.  Well, sort of….

What I’m more getting at is don’t let yourself feel like a victim.  Don’t let yourself feel like there is something wrong with you.  For example, you get depressed or anxious.  Who the fuck doesn’t.  Seriously, who the fuck doesn’t get depressed.

Once you have been hooked by the system, you are not going to really like me talking this way.  You may now agree that your depression or anxiety is bigger than you are; that it can have power over you.  I promise that you are much, much more than either of these things.  I could prove it to you but if you are convinced you may not want me to even try.

Once you have started a drug regime for eating disorders, depression or anxiety, it gets very tricky so go back.  One gets convinced by doctors and the like that these problems are so big that they’ll never go away and the only thing to do is take drugs to maintain some balance.  (They even try and convince one that there is a chemical imbalance, which have absolutely no basis of truth.)

I can assure you that you are bigger than any of these things.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unsympathetic to someone having difficulties.  Life can be a pain in the ass and somewhat overwhelming sometimes.

I read a great article recently on Jon Rappoport’s Blog called: “The number-one mind-control program at US colleges”.  He talked about people agreeing to be so sensitive to ‘triggers’.  This has become so acceptable.  If I say something to someone that they find ‘offensive’ they may have to run off and do some drug to suppress these uncomfortable feelings.  We are all human; it is OK to have feelings, all sorts of different ones.  A friend leaves or a relative dies one doesn’t have to take a drug to handle it.  Be sad, then don’t be sad any more.  There are many ways to move on.  It is not always easy but necessary.

My observation, and this is not backed up by clinical studies or tests, is that drugs tend to stick someone in whatever they were trying to fix.  For example,  Someone has a loss.  They are prescribed a drug.  They take much longer or never come out of it.  And the side effects are generally much worse than the drug itself.  Even if there are no drugs involved, sometimes the sympathy is deadly.  You are telling the person that whatever is bothering them is going to ruin them for ever.  And this is so untrue.  Why is one person able to ‘rise above’ and another not.  Mostly, because they are not convinced that the depression, anxiety or whatever, is not them or bigger than they are.

It may take more than this but next time you are feeling anxious or depressed. Instead of dwelling on it go for a walk.  BUT – you are not allowed to think.  You have to force yourself to look at things. If you are in the city, then look at buildings, telephone poles, cars and whatever else.  And keep doing this until you feel bigger than whatever is or was bugging you.  It may take 10 minutes. It may take 2-3 hours.  Hopefully, it won’t take 2-3 hours but keep at it.

Oh yeah, and stop reading the fucking newspaper!